Pee for Democracy

TALLAHASSEE, FLA -- A controversial new law here is having surprising results. The state recently required applicants in the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program to submit to a drug test. Test positive for drugs - no assistance for your needy family.

The biased and mean spirited nature of the law assumed that the poor struggled because they were drug addicts - unable to keep a job and using public assistance to support a drug habit.

However, initial results indicate the poor are more sober than the citizens and legislators that enacted the law. The figures show that only 2.5 percent of applicants tested positive for illegal drugs, while the Justice Department estimates over 6 percent of the U.S. population ages 12 and up are regularly using illegal drugs.

As a result of these figures, Carl Hiaasen journalist and best-selling novelist has offered to pay for all 160 members of the Florida State Legislature to be drug tested. Hiaasen called the idea, "a patriotic whiz-fest.''